Finding Your Community: Three Ways to Keep Meeting Your Child's Special Needs
"A diagnosis can't predict the extraordinary love you will have for your child." — Tara McCallan
In the south-central United States this February, unprecedented winter weather has upended and disrupted routines. This is, of course, on top of a year of routines thrown aside because of another unprecedented pandemic. Even families who don't normally manage the many quirks of a special needs child are struggling with the disruption in their normal lives. Single mothers with special needs children know well the need for a routine to help manage stress for everyone involved; it seems like life itself has a problem with established routines right now. While there is some great advice for explaining why our routines have been thrown out the window, here are a few things that can help relieve stress and establish new routines.
Seek help either informally or from professionals.
If you need a night off, ask for it. Friends and family are a wonderful resource when you need something simple like a night off. And sometimes, the problems are a little more involved. Therapists are evolving as the pandemic has forced us to consider social distancing. Many of them offer video conferencing and phone calls in lieu of face to face sessions. While it might not quite as effective as an in-person session — kids have notoriously terrible attention spans for phone calls — a phone call to a therapist can offer relevant advice and guidance when things start to feel overwhelming.
Meet them on their level.
Kids are going to be struggling, and we can't expect them to just roll with it. Even us adults are falling a little flat with all the changes, and we've had a lifetime to learn how to manage our emotions. Special needs kids have big emotions and not many ways to express them. Understanding that and having a little patience when dealing with an off day can make all the difference. Take a breath, have some of their favorite snacks and toys on hand, and let them express themselves in the whatever way that they know how. For my kid today, that's yelling as he throws snowballs every which way after he's been cooped up in the house for nearly a week; when he comes in, there will be hot chocolate next to the fireplace.
Network with other moms.
When things get a little closer to normal and your kids start going back to school, they'll face a whole new challenge: finding friends. That's not easy! And, as a single mom, neither is making friends yourself sometimes. Don't be afraid to connect with other moms online. You may find someone who deals with the same things you do, or someone willing to meet for a play date. Reaching out to the community gives you and your kids healthy relationships and new routines to establish.
We all want the very best for our special needs kids and that overwhelming love for them can sometimes be a point of stress. This isn't something you have to bear alone. Your community is your greatest asset. It's time to reach; follow us and find your community.