(Guest Post) Surviving A Trip To The Emergency Room
"Parenthood is the scariest hood you'll ever travel through."
-Unknown
I have survived jumping out of a perfectly good boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I’ve also survived kayaking with hippos and dangling off a bungi cord over the Zambezi river in Zimbabwe. But when my child is sick or injured and we have to make a trip to the emergency room - I’m a shaking, withering mess.
To me hospitals are scary places at the best of times. There’s something about those vinyl lined corridors, bright fluorescent lights and lab coated workers that just makes my knees knock together. And when it’s my child there and not me - it just feels about 1000 times worse.
Today we had to make one of those trips. A suspected broken arm that swelled up like a balloon needed some urgent medical attention. After what seemed like hours, we finally got seen to. Medic after medic trotted in and out - poking, prodding, taking temperatures, feeling pulses. Asking us both the exact same questions - you know how it goes. Then came the dispensing of oral medicines, the X-ray machines, more waiting, more medicine, more poking, prodding, and more waiting. We emerged 5 hours later, bleary eyed into the sunlight, with 20 pages of discharge instructions - and my head was spinning.
Without question, the time when I feel the most alone as a SMG - is when I have to take my child to the emergency room. I feel the enormity of single parenthood weighing on my shoulders - like a crushing boulder. I have to make all the decisions. I have to ask all the right questions. I have to pay attention to what they’re saying and make sure they’re x-raying the right arm and they got down the allergy information correctly … and on and on.
It got me thinking. This wasn't my first trip to the emergency room. It’s about my fifth. Yet it still stresses me out beyond belief. So now that I’ve had my double expresso and my child is ok and soundly sleeping - I thought I’d write some survival tips if you’re heading to the emergency room (or think it’s likely sometime in the future - um, if you have kids, it’s likely!).
First know where the heck to go! We just moved and I had no clue where the nearest pediatric emergency center was. If I had been more organized I would have done my homework on this and researched it when we moved. But I didn’t. So when I needed to find one fast, I was googling in a panic. Learn from my error and if you’re reading this google where the nearest ER is to you (and while we’re at it, because I’m a huge pet lover, google where the nearest emergency animal hospital is too if you have animals at home. I find it just about nearly as over-the-top-stressful to take one of my dogs to the ER as my child!)
If possible, grab your iPad, books, coloring stuff, copy of People Magazine - whatever to keep you and your kid(s) entertained. The good news is that TV can usually keep kids occupied, but don’t forget to look after your own needs too. GRAB YOUR PHONE CHARGER. AND A WALL PLUG. If you were one of those user-organized Martha-Stewart style Moms, you could also grab handfuls of snacks and some water. If you’re like me you’ll completely forget and only realize 5 hours later after you get home that no one’s eaten in 7 hours and suddenly last night’s left overs start looking pretty good.
LISTEN CAREFULLY TO EVERYTHING THE DOCTORS TELL YOU AND TAKE YOUR OWN NOTES ON YOUR PHONE. Especially make a note of the medication they give your child. I was told off handedly that they were giving my child a “strong” painkiller. When I asked what the name of it was turns out it’s Fentanyl - an extremely strong opiod that’s highly addictive. These are all extremely important things to know about. Which brings me to the next very important point which is ….
DON’T ASSUME THAT THE DOCTORS ARE ALWAYS DOING WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. I’m not ragging on pediatric doctors and medical staff - I know first hand the long hours they work and the huge amount of stress they’re under. They’re doing the best they can - but on an average day they might see more than 50 kids a day. Don’t just hand over the reins to them and let them make all the decisions. Understand exactly what they’re doing, why they’re doing it and what the options for treatment are. The more questions you can ask the better. Twice today, two of the healthcare providers were examining THE WRONG ARM. If I hadn’t piped up, who knows what kind of diagnosis we would have been given! Don’t assume that a new person knows all your kid’s allergies just because you told it to the last 4 people. KEEP REPEATING YOURSELF.
You are, and always will be the best advocate for your child. If something doesn’t seem right, speak up! Ask lots of questions. Understand the tests they are being put through and why, why the medications are being prescribed and any possible side-effects - and what the next steps are for follow up.
And finally - don’t be afraid to call in for reinforcements. Call your BFF and ask her to come get the other kids. Ask your Mom to come with you. If, like me, your nearest BFF happens to be a looooooong way away, then get some emotional support through texts. Don’t be afraid to reach out - remember you are never ever alone!
OK, that’s all from me on this topic. I think I need that other espresso. Hope these tips are helpful. I’d love to hear yours if you have any!
xx