You Belong

I was recently having a rather deep conversation with a certain five year old. We were discussing the subject of friends - specifically friends at school. “So people at school call Luke and me weird”, he told me, his usually happy face solemn.

“Really?”

“Yes. They call Luke weird because he likes different stuff to other boys. He doesn’t like playing football. He’s got kind of long hair. He has a rainbow backpack. The kids in our class call him a weirdo.”

Cue sage advice from a responsible grown-up. Ahem. “I’m guessing by saying he’s weird what they’re actually saying is he’s different.

Nod of the head.

Responsible adult gaining steam: “Well different is GREAT. Who wants to be the same as everyone else?”

5 year old: “I know that’s what I said! So Luke and I have created a club called the Weirdos Club, and anyone who wants to be different can join…”

Wow. So enlightened.

That conversation got me thinking about the subject of belonging. It’s so common for us to judge our self-worth based on the opinions of others. It was Coco Chanel who once famously said “I don’t care what you think of me .. I don’t think about you at all!”

Easier said than done when you’re in the confines of a school. Or a social group. Or a church. Or ..

For me as a Single Mother I fell most like an outsider when I’m at school events surrounded by parent couples, or Christmas parties. It wasn’t until I found another single mother at school who was also parenting alone, that all of a sudden - I felt like I belonged. We sat together at school events, caught up on weekends for our families to have dinner together, talked through our respective challenges and gave each other support. It was a real turning-point for me. I did not have to feel so alone.

If anyone feels like they don’t belong, it’s just that they haven’t found “their people yet.” I really wish this message could be reinforced to teenagers especially. There is room in this world for EVERYONE.

Welcome Single Mother Goddess. You belong here!