(Guest Post) Here’s To Parenting Backwards!

Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work. -C.S. Lewis

Back to school season is in full swing and all of my kids are settling into their new routines. My little ones are hitting new milestones this year and it is exciting for the whole family. My oldest, who is five years old,  is entering kindergarten, and my 4-year-old middle son is entering preschool. As much as we love each other, and as attached as we are with me being a stay at home mom, I am pleasantly surprised with how smooth our transition has been and how well we’ve all adjusted to this new chapter in our lives.

All of the time I took to read to them, to teach them, and prepare them for their school life has paid off! I am so proud of myself.

My son‘s preschool does things quite differently, in that they require a home visit before school starts and another one towards the end of the school year. I actually like it because it gives me an opportunity to really feel the teacher out and get to know her on a personal level. She is a new teacher, so I was really excited, and anxious, for the appointment. Everything went great and she seemed to be an exceptional teacher. I’m excited about what she will pour into my son.

During the meetings, she interviewed me about my son, his likes, dislikes and his personality. But then she asked me a question that rattled me. She asked me “What are the top three things that you want for your son?” 

I had never thought about my children in this way. I am an entrepreneur and I am used to always planning forward and working backward. I plan for how much money I want to make, which dictates how many clients I need. But I never looked at raising my children in this way! This question really opened my mind up to thinking about parenting backward.

After the interview, I sat down and took some time to think about the qualities that I want for my children, when they leave the house. I began thinking about the standards that I want them to have for themselves, and the goals I have to help them get what they want out of life. If I don’t solidify those goals in my head now, I will parent aimlessly. I want my son to have integrity, I want him to be bold, brave, and honest. So, when I rear him, even while in preschool, I need to make a conscious effort to instill those qualities now.

So now, for all of my kids, I am parenting backward. I am going to write contracts for myself and their future selves, for the goals that I want to accomplish in their lives.  I want them to have peace, so my contract with them will be to provide them with a peaceful home. I make that promise. I want them to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated, so I will open my mouth daily and tell them how much I cherish, love, and appreciate them. I’m excited about this new roadmap that I am setting for myself. It is giving parenting guidelines so that I can ensure that I am raising the best children, and being the best parent that I can be! So cheers to parenting backward.