(Guest Post) The Power of Forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes

This weekend I learned an incredible, powerful lesson. Are you ready for this? Forgiveness is not for the other person, it's actually for yourself! OMG, mind-blowing, right?

All this time I had been walking around thinking I was doing someone else a favor when I forgave them, not realizing that forgiveness is ultimately for the person who’s doing the forgiving.

 My pastor always says that unforgiveness is like setting up 4  walls around yourself, imprisoning yourself to your past. When you choose to forgive, you break free from the hurt, the bondage, and the suffering that was caused to you.  This weekend I experienced it first hand.

From my previous blog posts, you may know already that I was raised by my single mother, who did an amazing job! Somewhere down the road during my transition into adulthood my relationship with my Mom took a turn for the worse. We lost our closeness. Then I fell in love, went away to college, and by the time I got married and had kids, our relationship barely existed. When you and your child grow so close sometimes, I think it’s hard to adjust to a new phase of the relationship. Looking back on it now, I realize that my mother and I didn’t know how to transition from parent and child into parent and adult.

My dad wasn’t always around, so I learned at a young age that in order for me to protect myself, I had to cut off people that can hurt me. My dad hurt me through his broken promises, not being there, and not making an effort to be in my life. So, after many disappointments I had to protect my heart, and remove him from it.  This behavior started a bad pattern for me, in that once I see someone hurting me, I naturally decide to just close the door so that they can’t hurt me anymore. So, when my Mom and I started going down a bad road, and I kept getting hurt, I thought the only way to handle the situation was to cut her off as well.

 Closing that door hurt my Mom tremendously, and she felt like she didn't matter to me anymore. It also hurt me because I didn’t have the love and support from my Mom that I needed and wanted. As I got older, I knew this wasn’t the best way to handle things, so I was open when my Mom said she wanted to talk. We recently met up and finally talked about everything! We talked about the past, we talked about the mistakes, we cried, we apologized to each other and ultimately she forgave me, but more importantly, I forgave her.

 When I forgave her, I realized that it freed me from the disappointment I didn’t know I was carrying around.

Forgiveness removes the shackles that are holding you hostage.

Forgiveness requires strength and should never be looked at as a weakness.

Forgiveness erases the baggage so that you are free to accept love.

 Choosing to forgive has been the best decision I have ever made and I’m so glad I did it. I want to encourage you, no! I beg you to take stock in your heart of everyone who has hurt you, from your family, your children’s father, friends, coworkers, whoever it may be, and find the courage to forgive them. It is not for them, it’s for you. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks you to becoming the best Mom, the best friend, the best version of you. Forgive them so you can be FREE!