Girl, It's Time To Love Yourself PART 1...

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Buddha

It’s kind of laughable that I’m even writing this blog post. It has taken me a looooooong time to feel like I really did actually love myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t love myself. I did. I do (after forgiving myself for my mountains of mistakes in the past) … but somehow I always put my own needs at the very bottom of the pile.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a #SMG (Single Mother Goddess) is that I HAVE TO TAKE GREAT CARE OF MYSELF. It seems so self evident! If I go down - my health, my sanity, - my happiness - then my entire world - and my child’s world comes to a shuddering halt. There is no safety net. No significant other to swoop in and pick up the slack. So you’d think that after nearly ten years of being a #SMG that I would have my self-care all dialed in and I would be excellent at it. Honestly I still struggle. But progress …NOT perfection. And I’m pretty proud of my progress in this area although as always there’s room for vast improvement.

Now let’s talk about you.

If you’re reading this blog post then I have to assume that you also need some help in the self-care department. Bravo! The first step is always acknowledgment. In my experience we need help because either 1) we don’t think we’re worthy of it on some level or 2) we’re just too damn busy.

I fit squarely in both categories. As I don’t know what category you fit in, let’s start with the first:

1) You don’t think you’re worthy of self-care. If you’re needing someone else to tell you that you are worthy of GREAT LOVE (including your own) then listen up. YOU ARE WORTHY. So what if you’ve made some monumental mistakes (join the club). So what if you’ve done things you’re not proud of, or, or or… That is behind you. IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE. You are worthy of blessings beyond your wildest imagination. The fact you are on this website looking for help and support to raise your family is proof enough what a phenomenal person you are. So start treating yourself like the precious jewel you are.

Right you’re good on that one? Let’s move onto the second category; You don’t have time to take care of yourself - you’re far too busy.

Girl - you had better make time to take care of yourself and fill your own tank, because if you don’t your stress levels will sky rocket, your happiness and ability to cope with life will wear razor thin, your health will pack up and - YOUR CHILDREN WILL SUFFER. Sorry to be so blunt but self-care is CRITICAL to your success as a Single Mom. When you’re happy and relaxed - everything is right in your kids’ world. When you’re running around like a lunatic, hair on fire, going from crisis to crisis - your kids bear the brunt of it, they absorb the instability and unhappiness like little sponges. So if you needed a really good reason to take better care of yourself here it is - YOUR KIDS’ ENTIRE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT.

Good, so now we’re through with why it’s critical for you to put some of your own needs front and center. How exactly can you do this?

Here are some of my ideas that involve little to no money that can help fill your own tank:

1) Step outside in the cool of the evening after your kids have gone to bed and look at the stars. Clear your mind. Force yourself to sit there for 15 minutes at least and marvel at how enormous the night sky is. You will be amazed at how your own stresses and worries seem to evaporate as you consider everything in the scale of the universe.

2) Make yourself a real breakfast that you can sit down and eat in peace and quiet. Pick a flower and put it in a vase. Use your best silverware and plates. Make those waffles with extra maple syrup you’ve been craving (one isn’t going to hurt). Savor each mouthful. Turn off your phone and have absolutely no distractions for 30 minutes. Make yourself an incredible cup of coffee. Appreciate the view. Breathe.

3) Go out on a date with yourself (seriously). Take yourself to the movies. Carve out time to walk through an art gallery.

4) Book yourself a massage. I used to do this for myself once a year on my birthday when I was a new Single Mom and it felt so decadent but so good.

5) Book yourself a facial - one with lasting benefits that will help your skin to glow for days afterwards.

6) Make a time to go get your makeup done at a Mac counter (of course doesn’t have to be Mac but their makeup is pretty awesome). Before you go know what makeup you need so you don’t end up buying up the store just because you’re on a high at how gorgeous the flamboyantly adorable makeup artist made you feel (ahem).

7) Go to a random yoga class. Sit at the back. Breathe. Clear your mind and force yourself to think about only what’s going on in the class and not the piles of laundry waiting for you at home or …

Bottom line is know what little things you can do that make you happy. For me my go-to self care is time with my horse. I don’t even have to be riding. Quiet time grooming them or even mucking stalls has the same effect of grounding me and lifting my spirits.

Just as an FYI Self care is doing something that makes you feel great and raises your spirits. What are some things you can do this week??