How Can You Prepare for Your First Foster Child?
"Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others."
- Booker T. Washington
Fostering kids is a journey that will both break your heart and fulfill it. It's certainly not an easy thing to undertake, but it is needed. You don't have to be superhuman or a saint to open your home to kids in need, but it does take a bit more patience and flexibility than you might think. Even so, there's a few things you can do to help a child integrate into your family and a few things that you can have on hand to help you make that transition a little easier.
What do you need to do when you meet your first placement?
This also goes for any placement after your first, too. Remember, these kids are coming fresh off some sort of trauma, whether they've just been removed from their biological family or another foster family. Your job is to make that transition as painless as it can be.
First, make sure that you show them everything they need to know. Show them their bedroom, the bathroom they'll be using, and where anything they might need will be. Let them see where the extra toilet paper, blankets, and towels are. It seems like a simple first step, but it's important. It gives them a little agency and independence to be able to grab their own extra blanket if they need it.
Be clear about rules and expectations. By no means should you sit them down with a list of rules, but if you have a schedule that you need to stick to, then they need to know about it.
On the heels of that, settle into a routine. Don't give in to the temptation to make the first few days filled with fun activities. Let them have some input into your routine, too. Ask them about favorite foods and activities and integrate them as you can.
Most importantly, be flexible. Sometimes, things will fall apart, and you'll need to be a pillar of strength in the potential chaos.
What do you need before placement?
Some of this might be obvious, but make sure you have a full bedding set with extra blankets. Some stuffed animals might help, too. Activity books for younger children are wonderful, as are storybooks and young adult fiction, depending on your age range.
Have plenty of toiletries on hand, but know that you might have to find something different if you end up with a placement with sensitive skin or an aversion to certain scents.
For the home, extra towels for the kids you're adding would be good. You can also stock up on some snacks, but again, be flexible if the child doesn't like them.
What needs to wait until after placement?
In general, any clothing needs to wait until after you meet the child and get their size. That can be hard because some placements come with absolutely nothing. Borrowing an adult's t-shirt as a nightgown until you can get to a department store might be the best you can sometimes do, and that's okay.
Usually, agencies will help with a clothing voucher, but it doesn't always cover the entire cost, nor will it be available right away, so you'll want to set aside a little money to cover any expenses on the first few days.
The first days can be hectic, but you can help keep things running smoothly with just a little preparation. All the preparation in the world, though, doesn't cover the most important thing: be there for the kids when they need you.
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